Waiting is so hard

I didn't realise that waiting for a potential match was so hard! Maybe I am going crazy but I keep dreaming about being a mother with a little girl. I know what you are thinking sad or what, maybe I am.

I am in a real strange mood at the moment,

*my job is peeving me of at the moment. I suppose its because we are in the process of adopting and know I am going to be having time out.

* us not having biological children aka interfility has consumed me: first a supposedly good friend dampened my enthusiasm for adoption by saying "you better get your head around it but when you adopt your children will not look anything like you" Thanks

* this adoption malarkey is out of my hand, I am not in control, our social worker called up and said " hiya, we had a potential match ie little girl 6 months old but myself and my boss decided this wasn't a good match for you, anyway we are still looking! What how th hell was that how could she know how much my heart is aching to be a parent!!!!!!!!!!

*Dh is peeving me off, he is so matter of fact about everything...

Sorry my blog isn't as well written as the rest but writing how i feel is is very therapeutic.

I must dash to drink some more water the 2 glasses of wine as done me in.